Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Dont feed the FAT BABY

After hours of discussing last night, Liz, Lindsay and I decided we need to take the final plunge into the deep. Suck up all of our cautious thinking, and just do it. What that means....in our case... is to save up all the money we can until a specific time and go out on a tour. This might be our final straw... if this doesn't work, nothing can.
I don't however think it's the best idea. I think it would be amazing if we were in a better position to take that jump. If we were 18 again, post recording, to just go out and do this... that was the perfect time. I'm not saying its too late, it's just more complicated now. But I DO want to do this, because I need to know that there is possibly a future to the music, or that there is an end.
I'm afraid of either possibility.
I am going to go to the gym in a few. When I run... all of these thoughts just become thoughts and the emotion part is taken out. If only everything was that easy. I guess my goal for the future is to become less emotional, and more thoughtful.
An old goal of mine was to become more emotional, but as always.. I went overboard.. now I'm too emotional. Sometimes it's best to just accept things, the way there are.
There was no reason for me to have emotional anxiety attacks about a stupid job.
There is no reason for me to be soo emotionally scared about my life when Im only 21.
I need to overcome this.

I want to go to this. May 21. I feel like I worry about the most petty of pettty things in my life, and I never even think of real things that are happening... like this. http://www.aidswalk.net/newyork/

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